Sensual Bohemians - People who primarily seek physical gratification in their relationships. Their entire lifestyle will be geared towards this end. They tend to focus more on materialism. In the community these are the playas and the divas. You will more likely find a bohemian in a club or gym as opposed to a church. Bohemians wear their clothes as a magnet. This means their clothes will draw attention to them in a sexual manner. The ultimate bohemian is a prostitute.
A key factor with Bohemians is that it is difficult for them to pass up short-term pleasure even if it means long-term pain. Thus a bohemian male may have a one-night with his wife’s sister even though this may break up his marriage. Bohemians allow their sex drive to overcome good sense.
Reverent Intelligentsians - People who are the opposite of the Bohemians in that they do have control over their sex drive but a little too much control. Intelligentsians subconsciously have a fear in relation to their sex drive. They relate to their mates based more companionship than raw physical attraction. In the community these are the religious fanatics, the critics, and the prudes. The intelligentsians do not radiate sexual charisma even if people otherwise consider them physically beautiful or handsome. They tend to dress in way that deflects sexual attention. The ultimate intelligentsian is a nun.
Fear prevents an intelligentsian from fully experiencing physical gratification. Their sexual energy is bottled up and stifled.
In the scenario mention is made of at least four personality structures. Below is a brief explanation of each personality structure as well as a fifth structure. These personality structures are counterfeit personas in the sense that they do not necessarily represent a person’s birth personality but rather coping mechanisms people develop after experiencing certain types of trauma. These personality structures should be seen as masks people wear to cope with everyday life. The presentation will deal with the relationship issues each personality will exhibit in terms of false beliefs and major issue.
Schizoid Personality Structure
False Belief - Believes that members of the opposite sex are born with defects of character that cause them to act badly. The very nature of the opposite sex is the cause for the Schizoid’s negative sexual experiences.
Major Issue – Anger – Shows itself as unprovoked hostility. The Schizoid’s personality is fragmented. One week they are fully engaged, the next week their hostility restricts them to a partial expression of life.
Oral Personality Structure
False Belief - The person with an oral personality fears that their mate will abandon them in some way.
Major Issue – Entitlement – Believe they are entitled to certain benefits from life, regardless of whether or not they make a contribution.
Psychopathic Personality Structure
False Belief - They must be in control in a relationship in order to receive any benefits from the relationship.
Major Issue - Control – Will manipulate mate and others.
Masochistic Personality Structure
False Belief – Believes that members of the opposite sex are incapable of treating them fairly. This is especially true for woman. The woman believes that sexual submission on her part is synonymous to acknowledging that men hold the dominant role in society.
Major Issue – Rebellious – The “victim” who undermines the agenda of mate because of belief that cooperation equals submission.
Anal Personality Structure
False Belief - They believe they can achieve love in a relationship without risking the exposure of their true feelings. They believe that having companionship, sharing money, space, sex and material things equals a relationship.
Major Issue – Trust - Fear of risk. Insecurity. Fear of rejection. Acts in a superficial manner.
For more information about these personality structures check the non-fiction books listed at http://yaomorris.com/mybooks/
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Metaphysics of the Nice Guy Part 3: Charles The Invisible Man
The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.
When it comes to scoring points with a woman, nice guys definitely finish last. Usually dead last. But Charles did not know this. He confuses the proper conduct for a human socially, with the proper conduct for a male sexually. (Rom’s emphasis) For today many men are led to believe certain things about the attitudes of the modern woman which are contrary to the natural reality. The magazines say the woman wants such and so, and that the man should act thus and so. But the magazines don’t tell the brothers that these things only apply to about 15% of the male population. These are the men from the ‘select’ group who can get away with just about anything and usually do. But if the typical male takes the advice in the articles, and changes to conform to the patterns of behavior dictated, he will sadly discover that nothing has changed in the neighborhood. In the jungle of sexuality Charles will not kill any game unless he acquires the instincts of a hunter. And this is to some extent what Charles is doing. In his interaction with Michelle he finds that he needs to be decisive, to have an agenda. When he is wishy-washy they tend to argue. When he takes charge and is aggressive in the bedroom it seems that Michelle enjoys it better. Charles matures as a result of his relationship with Michelle. And Michelle benefits also. After being together for three years, the relationship has peaked. Charles receives an offer of promotion at the telephone company, but it requires that he move to another city. Michelle decides to stay behind, but they agree to part as good friends.
Charles has gone a long way to shedding his “nice guy” persona. He has developed into a more balanced man. And being in a new environment gives a chance to shape peer perception of him from scratch. Charles no longer feels like the invisible man. Attractive, charismatic women have begun to notice him in the office. At work females flirt with him. They do not flirt with him because of his involvement in community work and church, but because he manifests a more complete masculine persona. It is now time for Charles to relate to a carnal woman, but his relocation causes the cycle to take a little longer than before. But soon Charles meets Wanda, and is reminded by her of a dream he had. He knows at once that she is the next one. Wanda is very attractive, and has the masochistic personality like Elaine. But she is not Elaine and he is not the old Charles. Charles has the same nervous reaction around Wanda that he had a teenager around Beverly. But he is more disciplined man now and it does not show on the outside. He plays it cool with Wanda and they hit it off. The relationship with Wanda however is short. It only lasts a few months. For Charles discovers that she is insecure and somewhat immature for her age. Charles does not realize it, but he is being used by nature to shape Wanda into a more balanced woman. The physical relationship between Wanda and Charles is hot and passionate. It is the most intense lovemaking Charles will ever experience. And this aspect alone keeps Charles in the relationship longer than he would have been otherwise. But that is one of the lessons he must learn, that physical sex is not everything. Soon he learns that lesson, and moves on. He counts the relationship as being unsuccessful but he has gained by it spirituality and carnally and so has Wanda. They part as friends.
Charles spends almost a year in no relationship, because the next female in the cycle would not relate to him. Then he transfers back to the main office, and moves back in to his old neighborhood. In the meantime Elaine has dated several men who treated her badly. After she caught one of them cheating on her with one of her girlfriends, she decided to give a different type of guy a try. So she joined a church. The same church that Charles used to be a member of. It has been several years since she has seen Charles. At church one Sunday she runs into her old friend Charles and they rekindle their friendship. She remembers vividly how kind, concerned and thoughtful he had been to her. Looking at the man before her now, Elaine sees a more confident poised person. The other men in her life had only been macho, but not truly masculine, and each had proved unworthy. Charles was a successful executive now. He owned his own home. And five years of working out and martial arts had created a hard chiseled body. Elaine asked him out for dinner, but Charles refused. He was still attracted to her, but no longer willing to be just a shoulder for her to cry on. He told Elaine how he felt. And although they exchanged telephone numbers, Charles never called Elaine. But the spirits would not let it end there. Charles and Elaine were a good potential match for each other. They were strongly archetype complimentary. The spirits made another effort to bring them together.
There was a former boyfriend of Elaine’s who has abused her. And as “fate” would have it, she ran into him as a club one night. He hounded her and her girlfriend all night. Finally they gave him the slip and left the club. But he followed her home. And he arrived just as her girlfriend was leaving. When she would not open the door for him he became angry. He went to a phone booth nearby and called Elaine and threatened her. In the meantime Elaine had called Charles who lived near her. And Charles arrived on the scene just as the man was kicking down her door. Although the man was bigger, Charles beat him severely. And in so doing he rescued Elaine from a sure beating. The police did not arrive for another fifteen minutes. After that crisis Elaine and Charles saw each other in another light. And each began to se that maybe mistakes could be forgiven, and old misconceptions erased. The next night Elaine came to visit Charles. And that might they both tried to make up for all of the love each other had been missing for the better part of their lives. For Charles and Elaine the alternating cycle of attraction was completed.
Amanmere pp. 219 –220
Next – Explanation of terms used in scenario.
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
When it comes to scoring points with a woman, nice guys definitely finish last. Usually dead last. But Charles did not know this. He confuses the proper conduct for a human socially, with the proper conduct for a male sexually. (Rom’s emphasis) For today many men are led to believe certain things about the attitudes of the modern woman which are contrary to the natural reality. The magazines say the woman wants such and so, and that the man should act thus and so. But the magazines don’t tell the brothers that these things only apply to about 15% of the male population. These are the men from the ‘select’ group who can get away with just about anything and usually do. But if the typical male takes the advice in the articles, and changes to conform to the patterns of behavior dictated, he will sadly discover that nothing has changed in the neighborhood. In the jungle of sexuality Charles will not kill any game unless he acquires the instincts of a hunter. And this is to some extent what Charles is doing. In his interaction with Michelle he finds that he needs to be decisive, to have an agenda. When he is wishy-washy they tend to argue. When he takes charge and is aggressive in the bedroom it seems that Michelle enjoys it better. Charles matures as a result of his relationship with Michelle. And Michelle benefits also. After being together for three years, the relationship has peaked. Charles receives an offer of promotion at the telephone company, but it requires that he move to another city. Michelle decides to stay behind, but they agree to part as good friends.
Charles has gone a long way to shedding his “nice guy” persona. He has developed into a more balanced man. And being in a new environment gives a chance to shape peer perception of him from scratch. Charles no longer feels like the invisible man. Attractive, charismatic women have begun to notice him in the office. At work females flirt with him. They do not flirt with him because of his involvement in community work and church, but because he manifests a more complete masculine persona. It is now time for Charles to relate to a carnal woman, but his relocation causes the cycle to take a little longer than before. But soon Charles meets Wanda, and is reminded by her of a dream he had. He knows at once that she is the next one. Wanda is very attractive, and has the masochistic personality like Elaine. But she is not Elaine and he is not the old Charles. Charles has the same nervous reaction around Wanda that he had a teenager around Beverly. But he is more disciplined man now and it does not show on the outside. He plays it cool with Wanda and they hit it off. The relationship with Wanda however is short. It only lasts a few months. For Charles discovers that she is insecure and somewhat immature for her age. Charles does not realize it, but he is being used by nature to shape Wanda into a more balanced woman. The physical relationship between Wanda and Charles is hot and passionate. It is the most intense lovemaking Charles will ever experience. And this aspect alone keeps Charles in the relationship longer than he would have been otherwise. But that is one of the lessons he must learn, that physical sex is not everything. Soon he learns that lesson, and moves on. He counts the relationship as being unsuccessful but he has gained by it spirituality and carnally and so has Wanda. They part as friends.
Charles spends almost a year in no relationship, because the next female in the cycle would not relate to him. Then he transfers back to the main office, and moves back in to his old neighborhood. In the meantime Elaine has dated several men who treated her badly. After she caught one of them cheating on her with one of her girlfriends, she decided to give a different type of guy a try. So she joined a church. The same church that Charles used to be a member of. It has been several years since she has seen Charles. At church one Sunday she runs into her old friend Charles and they rekindle their friendship. She remembers vividly how kind, concerned and thoughtful he had been to her. Looking at the man before her now, Elaine sees a more confident poised person. The other men in her life had only been macho, but not truly masculine, and each had proved unworthy. Charles was a successful executive now. He owned his own home. And five years of working out and martial arts had created a hard chiseled body. Elaine asked him out for dinner, but Charles refused. He was still attracted to her, but no longer willing to be just a shoulder for her to cry on. He told Elaine how he felt. And although they exchanged telephone numbers, Charles never called Elaine. But the spirits would not let it end there. Charles and Elaine were a good potential match for each other. They were strongly archetype complimentary. The spirits made another effort to bring them together.
There was a former boyfriend of Elaine’s who has abused her. And as “fate” would have it, she ran into him as a club one night. He hounded her and her girlfriend all night. Finally they gave him the slip and left the club. But he followed her home. And he arrived just as her girlfriend was leaving. When she would not open the door for him he became angry. He went to a phone booth nearby and called Elaine and threatened her. In the meantime Elaine had called Charles who lived near her. And Charles arrived on the scene just as the man was kicking down her door. Although the man was bigger, Charles beat him severely. And in so doing he rescued Elaine from a sure beating. The police did not arrive for another fifteen minutes. After that crisis Elaine and Charles saw each other in another light. And each began to se that maybe mistakes could be forgiven, and old misconceptions erased. The next night Elaine came to visit Charles. And that might they both tried to make up for all of the love each other had been missing for the better part of their lives. For Charles and Elaine the alternating cycle of attraction was completed.
Amanmere pp. 219 –220
Next – Explanation of terms used in scenario.
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Metaphysics of the Nice Guy Part 2: Charles, The Invisible Man
The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.
“Nice” guys do not finish first. At least as far as their sexual life is concerned. Charles has found out that being a sensitive kind of guy does not always pay. Charles has discovered that being a nice guy has placed him into the second category of men, the “non-select” group. He has discovered that most often his kindness is seen as a sign of weakness. But this situation is his own fault. He can change it. The alternating cycle of attraction will help.
At the age of twenty-two we find Charles excelling on his job, popular in his church, and respected by his neighbors. Many of the mothers in his old neighborhood wish their daughters would bring home a man like Charles. But the daughters disagree. At this point Charles meets Elaine. For Charles, Elaine is one of the carnal women sent by his cycle. Elaine just wants to be friends with Charles. Elaine has the masochistic personality structure. She is also an intelligentsian. Charles tried to romance Elaine but it didn’t work. He took her out on dates and spent money on her, but she insisted the relationship remain platonic. Charles remembered her birthday and knew her favorite color. He calls Elaine beforehand if he will be late for a date. Charles is not cheap, dishonest, or crude, but none of this impressed Elaine. Elaine called Charles to ask him to help her assemble a new piece of exercise equipment. He helped her. She called Charles when she needed help to move into a new apartment. He helped her.
At the same time that Elaine was friends with Charles, she was intimate with Joe. Joe has the psychopathic personality structure. Charles did not know about Joe. Joe rarely took Elaine out for anything, and when they went out Elaine paid half. But she didn’t mind. Joe forgot Elaine’s birthday, and she spent that night alone in tears. Joe has broken two dates with Elaine and never gave her a good explanation. Elaine called Joe to help her assemble that equipment before she called Charles, but Joe said he was busy. He was just watching the game in reality, and just did not wish to be bothered. Two nights later Joe came over while Elaine was working out on her new machine. He made love to her right on the exercise machine Charles had helped put together. The irony never occurred to Elaine. In a few weeks Elaine caught Joe in a lie. She suspected he was seeing another woman, and he had lied about having a beeper. That and other things caused the temporary break up of the relationship between Elaine and Joe. After the break up, Elaine called Charles to cry on his shoulders.
Charles finally decided to give up on Elaine and move on. Female adults have a dual sexual character. That is, they have a spiritual sexual nature, and a carnal sexual nature. And so it follows that they have dual sexual needs, both a set of spiritual sexual needs and a set of carnal sexual needs. But in many females half of their sexual needs are not apparent, or poorly expressed. They are not necessarily fully aware of the needs themselves. For a man to be fully attractive, and fully able to satisfy the opposite sex, he must be aware of and able to fulfill both sets of needs. Charles is not. He is not able to, nor fully motivated to fulfill her carnal set of needs. And therein lies the problem. Charles had a good male friend from Haiti that he met in college. One evening he and his friend were talking about Elaine and women in general over a beer. His friend recommended that Charles pay a visit to a Yoruba priest that he knew. It took a few more beers to convince Charles, but finally he said “what the heck”, and they left to go to the shrine house. It turned out to be a defining event in Charles’ life. The shrine turned out to be a scary place to Charles at first. There were many strange looking objects about that gave the interior a weird vibration. He was expecting the priest to be a strange looking individual and he was. But once he opened his mouth Charles could tell that this was no ordinary man. Charles made his complaint to the shrine, and the priest proceeded to give him a reading. Charles was astonished that the shrine seemed to know a lot about his childhood and family. But the advice that the priest gave him did not seem to make much sense. He had expected that the shrine would give him some magic powder or roots. But what he was told to do had to do with his own personal nature, and his development in life, from his ancestors to that present moment. The deities at that shrine had performed their own sexual portfolio on Charles, better than any we can outline in a book. And they had determined the best steps for Charles to take now, all factors in his life considered. They told Charles what signs to look for in his next female companion.
And so Charles began a transformation. He began to work out at the company gym. He began to reduce his community and church activities and began to focus more energy on building up his masculine nature. He began to read about his inner nature. He took a class in Kung Fu. He followed the instructions of the shrine and went back for several follow-up visits. And soon, just as the shrine had said, Charles met a woman named Michelle, and he could recognize her by certain signs. Michelle had a spiritual persona when compared to Charles, but she was still very physically attractive. She and Charles slowly developed a good relationship. Through his interaction with Michelle, Charles, began to get into greater alignment with the carnal aspect of his masculine persona. He began to get in touch with his assertive, aggressive nature. His root chakra began to open. This was due to the work being done on his behalf at the shrine. And during this period feelings or suppressed anger were stirred up and brought to the surface. The opening of the psychic body created urges and emotions in Charles that he may at first find hard to control or justify. He did not like some of the things he felt himself becoming. For this man can be cruel as well as sensitive. This man does not take rejection well. And sometimes Michelle found him difficult to tolerate. But this phase passed.
To be continued…
Amanmere pp. 217 - 219
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
“Nice” guys do not finish first. At least as far as their sexual life is concerned. Charles has found out that being a sensitive kind of guy does not always pay. Charles has discovered that being a nice guy has placed him into the second category of men, the “non-select” group. He has discovered that most often his kindness is seen as a sign of weakness. But this situation is his own fault. He can change it. The alternating cycle of attraction will help.
At the age of twenty-two we find Charles excelling on his job, popular in his church, and respected by his neighbors. Many of the mothers in his old neighborhood wish their daughters would bring home a man like Charles. But the daughters disagree. At this point Charles meets Elaine. For Charles, Elaine is one of the carnal women sent by his cycle. Elaine just wants to be friends with Charles. Elaine has the masochistic personality structure. She is also an intelligentsian. Charles tried to romance Elaine but it didn’t work. He took her out on dates and spent money on her, but she insisted the relationship remain platonic. Charles remembered her birthday and knew her favorite color. He calls Elaine beforehand if he will be late for a date. Charles is not cheap, dishonest, or crude, but none of this impressed Elaine. Elaine called Charles to ask him to help her assemble a new piece of exercise equipment. He helped her. She called Charles when she needed help to move into a new apartment. He helped her.
At the same time that Elaine was friends with Charles, she was intimate with Joe. Joe has the psychopathic personality structure. Charles did not know about Joe. Joe rarely took Elaine out for anything, and when they went out Elaine paid half. But she didn’t mind. Joe forgot Elaine’s birthday, and she spent that night alone in tears. Joe has broken two dates with Elaine and never gave her a good explanation. Elaine called Joe to help her assemble that equipment before she called Charles, but Joe said he was busy. He was just watching the game in reality, and just did not wish to be bothered. Two nights later Joe came over while Elaine was working out on her new machine. He made love to her right on the exercise machine Charles had helped put together. The irony never occurred to Elaine. In a few weeks Elaine caught Joe in a lie. She suspected he was seeing another woman, and he had lied about having a beeper. That and other things caused the temporary break up of the relationship between Elaine and Joe. After the break up, Elaine called Charles to cry on his shoulders.
Charles finally decided to give up on Elaine and move on. Female adults have a dual sexual character. That is, they have a spiritual sexual nature, and a carnal sexual nature. And so it follows that they have dual sexual needs, both a set of spiritual sexual needs and a set of carnal sexual needs. But in many females half of their sexual needs are not apparent, or poorly expressed. They are not necessarily fully aware of the needs themselves. For a man to be fully attractive, and fully able to satisfy the opposite sex, he must be aware of and able to fulfill both sets of needs. Charles is not. He is not able to, nor fully motivated to fulfill her carnal set of needs. And therein lies the problem. Charles had a good male friend from Haiti that he met in college. One evening he and his friend were talking about Elaine and women in general over a beer. His friend recommended that Charles pay a visit to a Yoruba priest that he knew. It took a few more beers to convince Charles, but finally he said “what the heck”, and they left to go to the shrine house. It turned out to be a defining event in Charles’ life. The shrine turned out to be a scary place to Charles at first. There were many strange looking objects about that gave the interior a weird vibration. He was expecting the priest to be a strange looking individual and he was. But once he opened his mouth Charles could tell that this was no ordinary man. Charles made his complaint to the shrine, and the priest proceeded to give him a reading. Charles was astonished that the shrine seemed to know a lot about his childhood and family. But the advice that the priest gave him did not seem to make much sense. He had expected that the shrine would give him some magic powder or roots. But what he was told to do had to do with his own personal nature, and his development in life, from his ancestors to that present moment. The deities at that shrine had performed their own sexual portfolio on Charles, better than any we can outline in a book. And they had determined the best steps for Charles to take now, all factors in his life considered. They told Charles what signs to look for in his next female companion.
And so Charles began a transformation. He began to work out at the company gym. He began to reduce his community and church activities and began to focus more energy on building up his masculine nature. He began to read about his inner nature. He took a class in Kung Fu. He followed the instructions of the shrine and went back for several follow-up visits. And soon, just as the shrine had said, Charles met a woman named Michelle, and he could recognize her by certain signs. Michelle had a spiritual persona when compared to Charles, but she was still very physically attractive. She and Charles slowly developed a good relationship. Through his interaction with Michelle, Charles, began to get into greater alignment with the carnal aspect of his masculine persona. He began to get in touch with his assertive, aggressive nature. His root chakra began to open. This was due to the work being done on his behalf at the shrine. And during this period feelings or suppressed anger were stirred up and brought to the surface. The opening of the psychic body created urges and emotions in Charles that he may at first find hard to control or justify. He did not like some of the things he felt himself becoming. For this man can be cruel as well as sensitive. This man does not take rejection well. And sometimes Michelle found him difficult to tolerate. But this phase passed.
To be continued…
Amanmere pp. 217 - 219
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Metaphysics of the Nice Guy Part 1: Charles, The Invisible Man
The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.
Charles, The Invisible Man
A few months after his fourteenth birthday, Charles began to have several very intense and vivid dreams. During these dreams Charles found himself in a sexually provocative situation with a female who was sexually exciting to him. There are symbols and hidden messages in the dream. Charles wakes up and finds that during the night he has had a real orgasm. The experiences is more vivid than most dreams, this is because it is not really a dream but a psychic experience. Charles was both excited and embarrassed about his “wet dream.” But because he has not participated in an authentic rites-of-passage program, Charles does not appreciate the spiritual significance of what was happening to him. He tells no one about his first wet dream. Charles does not recognize the girl in his first dream. This dream event was a marker from the spirit world signaling Charles that a change has occurred in his life.
After a few weeks, Charles begins a series of dreams about a girl in his class, Beverly. These dreams do not end in orgasm, but there is a heavy sexual content in them. Beverly is very attractive, outgoing, confident but arrogant. In the dreams, Charles sees Beverly in some circumstance that is extremely provocative. He wants desperately to approach her in the dream but there is some power which seems to hold him back. Beverly seems to suffer in some intangible way for the lack of Charles’ assertiveness. In real life, Charles has always felt some attraction to Beverly, but after the dreams he becomes almost obsessed with her. It is hard to be close to her and not have his heart beat fast. But in real life Charles sees Beverly react to boys in a very crude and demeaning way. He is afraid to approach her for fear that he will be made a fool of in front of the entire school.
At this point in his life, Charles has begun the alternating cycle of attraction, and the third period in the simple cycle of evolution. The wet dream is a signal from the spirit world to Charles. It is not some random biological event. It is done on purpose to alert Charles that the game of life for him has changed significantly. If Charles lived in a spiritual community, he would know that his dream dictated a visit by him to the local shaman, or village elder. The elder would sit down with Charles and his grandparents, and explain the meaning of the dream, and the natural laws the Charles needs to now acquaint himself with. He was supposed to overcome his fear of embarrassment and approach Beverly. Had he done so, he would have found Beverly more receptive than he imagined. The encounter would have been brief, and in a few weeks would have ended with Charles getting his feelings hurt. Nevertheless, the experience would have helped Charles tremendously in his life. As a result of his failure, nature will make the next encounter harder for Charles to avoid. In relation to Charles, Beverly is a Bohemian. In the cycle; she counts as one of the carnal women Charles will encounter in the cycle.
There are two general classes of personality that compose the two types of the cycle. The first type, the bohemians, constitutes the members of the opposite sex who stimulate us in a carnal way. However, they may have some shortcomings as far as the virtues are concerned. Beverly has an anal personality structure. While Charles is very attracted to Beverly, she probably will not be as attracted to him. There is a down side to any interaction between Beverly and Charles and that is a part of the lesson that Charles is supposed to learn from the encounter. But Charles avoided the encounter, which was a mistake. It is also important to note that Charles has an obligation to Beverly as well as himself to follow through on the cycle. For there is an important lesson for Beverly to learn from Charles. She may not hold much interest in Charles now, the potential lesson she can learn, would be of very great important to her later in life. Also remember, that while Charles may find Beverly very appealing, some other male may not.
After the first encounter is over, the spirits of nature begin to influence things so that the second female comes into Charles’ sphere of activity. Her name is Joan, and she is an intelligentsian. Joan has a psychopathic personality structure. Prior to meeting her, Charles has a dream to alert him to her coming. He dreams that he is given a job to do in a church. In the dream a woman comes to his assistance. He can not see her face in the dream, but gets a sense of her personality. Soon after the dream, Charles meets Joan after a church service. Her personality reminds him of the feeling her had in the dream. The cycle has reversed in its polarity. This is how it works. Now Charles is the bohemian compared to Joan. For Joan, Charles is a carnal man. She sees Charles in the same way that Charles saw Beverly. Joan is very attracted to Charles physically. Charles likes Joan, but is not really excited about her in a sexual way. Charles can appreciate other abilities that Joan has, but at such a young age he is more concerned about sexual appeal and peer acceptance. He is unaware of the importance of this encounter as far as his sexual future is concerned. More importantly, he is unaware, and not much concerned about the effect of this encounter on Joan.
Charles and Joan begin to see each other when the parents will allow. The relationship is not an intimate one although Joan would like for it to be. For a few months Joan’s life is a little brighter, but the encounter takes a turn for the worse. A new girl moves into the neighborhood and takes an interest in Charles. She is older and prettier than Joan and her parents allow her to date. The boys in Charles’ crew think that the new girl is “hot”. Charles likes the feeling of being around a girl that other boys want very much. Very soon Charles decides to put more distance between him and Joan. Joan is rejected and experience leaves her feeling sad and bitter. She feels inferior to the older girl. Her self esteem suffers. Her parents and friends try to consul her, but in her heart a rift begins to form. She feels more distant from Black men.
Charles’ second sexual encounter has ended. Although Charles has no knowledge of it, he is being evaluated by spiritual beings in another realm. He has failed again. He does not understand the game. He has no conception of the nature of the playing field, or the nature of the referee. While our spirit guides want for us to succeed, they can only assist us so much when we make poor judgements. Charles is judged as a failure in his second encounter because he did not stay in the relationship long enough to learn the lesson intended. And even more important, the manner in which he ended the relationship caused undue pain, and negated any positive experience that Joan might have had. In a relationship, Charles is just as much responsible for the evolution of Joan as he is for his own evolution. That is how the agents of heaven and earth see it. That is how we are evaluated.
We skip ahead a few years to rejoin Charles as an adult. He has just finished college. Remember Charles from our discussion of the oral personality structure? Charles is five feet, nine inches tall, and weighs one hundred fifty-five pounds. Charles grew up in the suburbs with one parent at home, his mother. Charles has just started to work for the telephone company. Charles is comfortable in academic settings and in church. He believes strongly in community service and works to support several civic organizations. He is respected in the community. In youth Charles was not good at most sports. He ran track in high school but was never outstanding. He made good grades and the combination caused him to be branded. The first defining moment of Charles’s life relates to his intellect and not his romantic life. This was the day he graduated with honors from a very prestigious university on the East Coast.
Charles was born on February 15 to archetype seven. That gives him the imprint of the “pilot” upon his inner nature. Next is his psychic persona which is the oral personality structure. A quick examination of Charles’ sexual portfolio and general sexual behavior will reveal that Charles exhibits the characteristics of a reverent intelligentsia male. He is sexually repressed carnally, and has an imbalanced sexual persona. Over this is layered his final persona, his outer persona, which is determined from astrology, and he is an aquarius. On the scale most women would rate him a six in looks, and a five overall.
Charles has developed into a pretty good fellow. But he has a big problem. He has been branded by his female peers. He and his male peers have not been that successful in the dating game. Charles’ crew does not attract attention to themselves, although some would like to. There is a saying among them that, “If you want to get noticed as a Black man, you must sing, play ball or commit a crime.” Perhaps that is not totally true, but they do seem to have been neglected. Charles does not sing, play professional sports, sell drugs, or have pick-up lines. In fact he has done a lot of good in the community. Even so, he is an outcast. He has been stigmatized in a very negative way. Attractive women have branded him in the most debilitating manner that a man can be. He has been labeled a “nice” guy.
To Be Continued…
Amanmere pp. 214 - 217
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
Charles, The Invisible Man
A few months after his fourteenth birthday, Charles began to have several very intense and vivid dreams. During these dreams Charles found himself in a sexually provocative situation with a female who was sexually exciting to him. There are symbols and hidden messages in the dream. Charles wakes up and finds that during the night he has had a real orgasm. The experiences is more vivid than most dreams, this is because it is not really a dream but a psychic experience. Charles was both excited and embarrassed about his “wet dream.” But because he has not participated in an authentic rites-of-passage program, Charles does not appreciate the spiritual significance of what was happening to him. He tells no one about his first wet dream. Charles does not recognize the girl in his first dream. This dream event was a marker from the spirit world signaling Charles that a change has occurred in his life.
After a few weeks, Charles begins a series of dreams about a girl in his class, Beverly. These dreams do not end in orgasm, but there is a heavy sexual content in them. Beverly is very attractive, outgoing, confident but arrogant. In the dreams, Charles sees Beverly in some circumstance that is extremely provocative. He wants desperately to approach her in the dream but there is some power which seems to hold him back. Beverly seems to suffer in some intangible way for the lack of Charles’ assertiveness. In real life, Charles has always felt some attraction to Beverly, but after the dreams he becomes almost obsessed with her. It is hard to be close to her and not have his heart beat fast. But in real life Charles sees Beverly react to boys in a very crude and demeaning way. He is afraid to approach her for fear that he will be made a fool of in front of the entire school.
At this point in his life, Charles has begun the alternating cycle of attraction, and the third period in the simple cycle of evolution. The wet dream is a signal from the spirit world to Charles. It is not some random biological event. It is done on purpose to alert Charles that the game of life for him has changed significantly. If Charles lived in a spiritual community, he would know that his dream dictated a visit by him to the local shaman, or village elder. The elder would sit down with Charles and his grandparents, and explain the meaning of the dream, and the natural laws the Charles needs to now acquaint himself with. He was supposed to overcome his fear of embarrassment and approach Beverly. Had he done so, he would have found Beverly more receptive than he imagined. The encounter would have been brief, and in a few weeks would have ended with Charles getting his feelings hurt. Nevertheless, the experience would have helped Charles tremendously in his life. As a result of his failure, nature will make the next encounter harder for Charles to avoid. In relation to Charles, Beverly is a Bohemian. In the cycle; she counts as one of the carnal women Charles will encounter in the cycle.
There are two general classes of personality that compose the two types of the cycle. The first type, the bohemians, constitutes the members of the opposite sex who stimulate us in a carnal way. However, they may have some shortcomings as far as the virtues are concerned. Beverly has an anal personality structure. While Charles is very attracted to Beverly, she probably will not be as attracted to him. There is a down side to any interaction between Beverly and Charles and that is a part of the lesson that Charles is supposed to learn from the encounter. But Charles avoided the encounter, which was a mistake. It is also important to note that Charles has an obligation to Beverly as well as himself to follow through on the cycle. For there is an important lesson for Beverly to learn from Charles. She may not hold much interest in Charles now, the potential lesson she can learn, would be of very great important to her later in life. Also remember, that while Charles may find Beverly very appealing, some other male may not.
After the first encounter is over, the spirits of nature begin to influence things so that the second female comes into Charles’ sphere of activity. Her name is Joan, and she is an intelligentsian. Joan has a psychopathic personality structure. Prior to meeting her, Charles has a dream to alert him to her coming. He dreams that he is given a job to do in a church. In the dream a woman comes to his assistance. He can not see her face in the dream, but gets a sense of her personality. Soon after the dream, Charles meets Joan after a church service. Her personality reminds him of the feeling her had in the dream. The cycle has reversed in its polarity. This is how it works. Now Charles is the bohemian compared to Joan. For Joan, Charles is a carnal man. She sees Charles in the same way that Charles saw Beverly. Joan is very attracted to Charles physically. Charles likes Joan, but is not really excited about her in a sexual way. Charles can appreciate other abilities that Joan has, but at such a young age he is more concerned about sexual appeal and peer acceptance. He is unaware of the importance of this encounter as far as his sexual future is concerned. More importantly, he is unaware, and not much concerned about the effect of this encounter on Joan.
Charles and Joan begin to see each other when the parents will allow. The relationship is not an intimate one although Joan would like for it to be. For a few months Joan’s life is a little brighter, but the encounter takes a turn for the worse. A new girl moves into the neighborhood and takes an interest in Charles. She is older and prettier than Joan and her parents allow her to date. The boys in Charles’ crew think that the new girl is “hot”. Charles likes the feeling of being around a girl that other boys want very much. Very soon Charles decides to put more distance between him and Joan. Joan is rejected and experience leaves her feeling sad and bitter. She feels inferior to the older girl. Her self esteem suffers. Her parents and friends try to consul her, but in her heart a rift begins to form. She feels more distant from Black men.
Charles’ second sexual encounter has ended. Although Charles has no knowledge of it, he is being evaluated by spiritual beings in another realm. He has failed again. He does not understand the game. He has no conception of the nature of the playing field, or the nature of the referee. While our spirit guides want for us to succeed, they can only assist us so much when we make poor judgements. Charles is judged as a failure in his second encounter because he did not stay in the relationship long enough to learn the lesson intended. And even more important, the manner in which he ended the relationship caused undue pain, and negated any positive experience that Joan might have had. In a relationship, Charles is just as much responsible for the evolution of Joan as he is for his own evolution. That is how the agents of heaven and earth see it. That is how we are evaluated.
We skip ahead a few years to rejoin Charles as an adult. He has just finished college. Remember Charles from our discussion of the oral personality structure? Charles is five feet, nine inches tall, and weighs one hundred fifty-five pounds. Charles grew up in the suburbs with one parent at home, his mother. Charles has just started to work for the telephone company. Charles is comfortable in academic settings and in church. He believes strongly in community service and works to support several civic organizations. He is respected in the community. In youth Charles was not good at most sports. He ran track in high school but was never outstanding. He made good grades and the combination caused him to be branded. The first defining moment of Charles’s life relates to his intellect and not his romantic life. This was the day he graduated with honors from a very prestigious university on the East Coast.
Charles was born on February 15 to archetype seven. That gives him the imprint of the “pilot” upon his inner nature. Next is his psychic persona which is the oral personality structure. A quick examination of Charles’ sexual portfolio and general sexual behavior will reveal that Charles exhibits the characteristics of a reverent intelligentsia male. He is sexually repressed carnally, and has an imbalanced sexual persona. Over this is layered his final persona, his outer persona, which is determined from astrology, and he is an aquarius. On the scale most women would rate him a six in looks, and a five overall.
Charles has developed into a pretty good fellow. But he has a big problem. He has been branded by his female peers. He and his male peers have not been that successful in the dating game. Charles’ crew does not attract attention to themselves, although some would like to. There is a saying among them that, “If you want to get noticed as a Black man, you must sing, play ball or commit a crime.” Perhaps that is not totally true, but they do seem to have been neglected. Charles does not sing, play professional sports, sell drugs, or have pick-up lines. In fact he has done a lot of good in the community. Even so, he is an outcast. He has been stigmatized in a very negative way. Attractive women have branded him in the most debilitating manner that a man can be. He has been labeled a “nice” guy.
To Be Continued…
Amanmere pp. 214 - 217
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is www.yaomorris.com.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
One Woman, Four Men
A key point in Nice Guys and Players and Sexual Chemistry is that women tend to place men into four different categories for dating and relationship purposes. The categories are as follows:
Mr. Goodbar - Select. Handsome with good looks and body build. Raw sex appeal
Masked Men - Select. Don't have the raw sex appeal of Mr. Goodbar. May be handsome with good body build. Main attraction is above average income and status.
Nice Guys - Non-Select. Bland and clueless. Lacks raw sex appeal. Women keep them as platonic friends.
Gamesmen - Non-Select. Lacks looks, money, or sex appeal. Can get women only through tricks and persistence.
The following scenarios are from my book Sexual Chemistry in which one woman, Melissa, interacts with men representing each category of man. Melissa represents the typical woman’s response to the four categories.
Gamesman Scenario
Mario lived with his sister and her family though the relationship is strained. Mario can’t keep a steady job and when he does work it’s usually in a low-level retail job. Mario is 32, has a slim build, about 5’9”, and gives the impression of being lazy. Mario thinks he’s a serious ladies’ man. He spends a lot of time around shopping malls trying to talk to young girls.
One day, on the way to the job he’s had for two weeks, he sees a shapely woman by herself at the bus stop. Mario puts on his best mack as he approaches the bus stop.
“Hey lady you look good. My name’s Mario. What’s your name?” Mario asked while trying to look cool.
“Um my name’s Melissa,” Melissa answered hesitantly.
“Damn you wearing that suit,” Mario said while looking Melissa up and down and lingering on her thighs.
“Thank you.”
“I’m surprised your husband would let you out dressed like this. If I was your man I would be driving you to work,” Mario said as he moved closer to Melissa.
“My husband had to leave early today and my car is having some work done,” Melissa said as she tried to inch away from Mario.
“Husband? How come you ain’t wearing no ring?” Mario asked as he continued to move closer.
“I was in a rush this morning,” Melissa said as she looked around for the bus.
“If I had my car I would take you to where you’re going,” Mario said as he licked his lips. “I let my sister use it though.”
The bus finally came and Mario sat next to Melissa and kept talking. He told her he was a store manager and that he was the man on his job. They reached Melissa’s stop in the business district and both got off.
“I thought you worked across town?” Melissa asked.
“I do. I just want to get those digits ‘cause I want to holla at you again.”
“What about my husband?”
“What that got to do with me?”
“Well, since you put it like that I’ll write my phone number down for you. I have a private phone at my house my husband doesn’t answer.” Melissa wrote down her phone number. “Call me tonight.”
Mario watched Melissa walk into a coffee shop while still admiring her body. He then caught the next bus to his job hoping he wouldn’t get in trouble again for being late.
Inside her office Melissa told a couple of co-workers about Mario and how she lied about having a husband. They found it funny that Mario didn’t care. Melissa said, “I can’t believe he thought I found him attractive.”
That evening Mario told his friend Chuck about Melissa while drinking some beers.
“That freak wants me to call her tonight but I’ma wait a few days,” Mario said.
“You gonna hit that dawg?” Chuck asked.
“I’ma hit that from the back.”
“What about her man?”
“That’s her problem. If she’s good I’ll take her from her man.”
Mario didn’t see Melissa for a few days. He decided that she had waited long enough. He dialed her number and heard the following, “The number you have dialed is not in service.” Mario realized that instead of him playing Melissa he was the one who got played.
The Nice Guy Scenario
This scenario picks up where the last one left off. Melissa is still having a good laugh at Mario’s expense. One of the people Melissa shares the story with is her co-worker, Rodney. Rodney is 6’1” with a slim build. He presents as being shy and repressed. He doesn’t stand out in a crowd. Rodney has been interested in Melissa since he joined the firm. Rodney decides to ask Melissa out.
“Hey Melissa. That story you told me still has me laughing,” Rodney said as he sat down in front of Melissa’s desk.
“Men are so weak sometimes,” Melissa responded, barely looking up from her work.
“Well…all of us aren’t like that. Many of us are perfect gentlemen who have been raised to treat ladies with the utmost respect.”
“I sure wish I’d meet one.”
“Sometimes they are right in front of you.”
“Yeah right.”
“No they are. Melissa, I, um, what are you doing this Friday?”
“Nothing. Why do you ask?” Melissa asked as she finally looked up at Rodney.
“Well, I, um, would like to take you out.”
“On a date?”
“Yes…a date.”
“I’m flattered you want to take me out and Lord knows I haven’t been out in a while but…”
“But what? You just said you haven’t been out in a while.”
“Rodney,” Melissa sighed. “You’re a nice guy but…”
“You don’t want to go out with me do you?”
“No I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“There are several reasons. The most important is that you are my buddy. I can talk to you about anything. I don’t want to mess that up.”
“Shouldn’t couples be friends anyway?”
“There’s more. Even if it wasn’t an issue of friendship there’s the issue of us working in the same office. My rule is to never date anybody I work with.”
“What if I got a job somewhere else?”
“That’s another thing. I hate to sound shallow but I’m looking for a professional man. I worked hard to get my degrees, my car, and my townhouse. I want a man with as much as I have and more.”
“I have a college degree and I’m a good worker.”
“I’m sorry I just need more. I hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. I enjoy being able to talk to you.”
“I’ll always be there for you. I hope you’ll change your mind one day.”
“Rodney, don’t wait for me. You’re a good man. There’s a very nice woman waiting for you somewhere out there.”
“Okay.”
Rodney left Melissa’s office wondering why she doesn’t give him a chance.
The Masked Man Scenario
Melissa is at a gathering of young professionals. The men at the function and their credentials impressed her. Melissa had been told since she was a child to get a professional man. She always had trouble meeting this type of man. Now she was in a room full of them. Melissa is sitting at a table listening to the jazz music when Brendan Whitfield approaches her. Brendan is 5’10” with a medium build and average face. His hair is freshly cut and he has a neatly groomed mustache. He is wearing an expensive designer suit and shoes.
“Is this seat taken?” Brendan asked.
“No it isn’t,” Melissa responded. She thought he had some potential even though he is not as handsome as she would have liked.
“May I join you?”
“Please. Have a seat.”
“My name is Brendan Whitfield,” Brendan said as he extended his hand.
“I’m Melissa Silver. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Melissa said as she shook Brendan’s hand.
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Been okay so far. Yourself?”
“I’ve talked to a few people but they weren’t very interesting.”
“No?”
“They were talking about trivial things. I’m here more for business.”
“So you sat next to me to discuss business?”
“For you I’m making an exception. I have to say that you are very attractive and you look like you’re going places. That’s a great combination. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do everyday?”
“I’m an account manager with a P.R. firm. Yourself.”
“I’m an in-house attorney for a company downtown.”
“Really,” Melissa said as her interest started to rise. “I’m downtown as well.”
Melissa and Brendan talked the rest of the evening and then exchanged business cards. They agreed to meet for lunch the next week.
Brendan and Melissa spent a lot of time together the next few weeks. They went to dinner at several fancy restaurants and saw a couple of plays. After a month of seeing each other they slept together for the first time. Melissa was disappointed. They slept together a few more times and the disappointment grew. Brendan during this time began to act more and more distant. Finally, he stopped calling. Melissa didn’t really mind. She discussed the situation with Rhonda, one of her co-workers.
“You haven’t spoke to him in a few days?” Rhonda asked.
“No. I hate to say it but I really don’t miss him,” Melissa said.
“You said he had a lot going for him.”
“Yeah…but…I don’t know. He wasn’t that cute but he had all the right degrees, a house, and a car. He said all the right things but there was just something missing.”
“Do you know what it was?”
“I don’t know…well…maybe there’s something.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”
“He seemed superficial about many things. I mean, he talked about his job a lot, his car, his house, but not a lot, if at all, about his personal feelings. It seemed all we did was go out to different restaurants and events but we never really spent time alone…except for sex.”
“How was that?”
“He wasn’t that good. It was a letdown to be honest. It’s like once you get past the money, the status, the possessions there was nothing there. There was no raw passion with him. It’s like without his props he’s nothing. Like he was wearing a mask.”
Mr. Goodbar Scenario
Melissa was sitting at her desk when she noticed a new man delivering mail to different offices. She was immediately attracted to him, which surprised her. She asked some co-workers about him. She found out his name was Stan Davis. He was a muscular six-footer with almond shaped eyes and a sexy walk. He had just started in the mailroom. She smiled at him every time he dropped mail at her office but he just nodded and kept delivering mail. One day after a few weeks Melissa stopped Stan to talk to him.
“How’s it going today?” Melissa asked.
“It’s a’ight. Just doing my J-O-B,” Stan responded.
“Do you like your job?”
“It keeps my bills paid. This ain’t the only thing I do though.”
“What else do you do?”
“I do some modeling and I DJ too.”
“Sounds exciting.”
“Just something to do. I’m saving up money to start a clothing store.”
“I didn’t know that about you.”
“Well you really don’t know me.” Stan said smiling.
“I guess not.”
“You can get to know me better if you fix me dinner this Saturday night.”
“Now how do you know I can even cook? Wait a minute. We’re talking for the first time and you’re talking about coming over to my house?”
“So you want me to bring anything?”
“You’re a trip. I haven’t agreed to have you over yet.”
“I see how you look at me so I figured I’d be coming over at some point anyway. Why delay the inevitable?”
“You’re so full of yourself,” Melissa said with a big grin on her face.
“Naw, I just like making beautiful women smile.”
“Thank you for making my day. So what time are you coming by?”
“I can be there by seven. Is that good for you?”
“That’s great.”
Stan and Melissa have dinner about eight that Saturday night and have sex about eleven that same night. Melissa is in a state of bliss afterwards. They never had a steady one on one relationship as Stan informed her that his focus is on his side businesses and also that there are other women in his life. Melissa is amazed that she is even involved with Stan. He goes against all off her rules. He was not a professional, he worked in her office, and he is not interested in a monogamous relationship. She doesn’t care because Stan is like rich chocolate who makes her feel good all over.
Mr. Goodbar - Select. Handsome with good looks and body build. Raw sex appeal
Masked Men - Select. Don't have the raw sex appeal of Mr. Goodbar. May be handsome with good body build. Main attraction is above average income and status.
Nice Guys - Non-Select. Bland and clueless. Lacks raw sex appeal. Women keep them as platonic friends.
Gamesmen - Non-Select. Lacks looks, money, or sex appeal. Can get women only through tricks and persistence.
The following scenarios are from my book Sexual Chemistry in which one woman, Melissa, interacts with men representing each category of man. Melissa represents the typical woman’s response to the four categories.
Gamesman Scenario
Mario lived with his sister and her family though the relationship is strained. Mario can’t keep a steady job and when he does work it’s usually in a low-level retail job. Mario is 32, has a slim build, about 5’9”, and gives the impression of being lazy. Mario thinks he’s a serious ladies’ man. He spends a lot of time around shopping malls trying to talk to young girls.
One day, on the way to the job he’s had for two weeks, he sees a shapely woman by herself at the bus stop. Mario puts on his best mack as he approaches the bus stop.
“Hey lady you look good. My name’s Mario. What’s your name?” Mario asked while trying to look cool.
“Um my name’s Melissa,” Melissa answered hesitantly.
“Damn you wearing that suit,” Mario said while looking Melissa up and down and lingering on her thighs.
“Thank you.”
“I’m surprised your husband would let you out dressed like this. If I was your man I would be driving you to work,” Mario said as he moved closer to Melissa.
“My husband had to leave early today and my car is having some work done,” Melissa said as she tried to inch away from Mario.
“Husband? How come you ain’t wearing no ring?” Mario asked as he continued to move closer.
“I was in a rush this morning,” Melissa said as she looked around for the bus.
“If I had my car I would take you to where you’re going,” Mario said as he licked his lips. “I let my sister use it though.”
The bus finally came and Mario sat next to Melissa and kept talking. He told her he was a store manager and that he was the man on his job. They reached Melissa’s stop in the business district and both got off.
“I thought you worked across town?” Melissa asked.
“I do. I just want to get those digits ‘cause I want to holla at you again.”
“What about my husband?”
“What that got to do with me?”
“Well, since you put it like that I’ll write my phone number down for you. I have a private phone at my house my husband doesn’t answer.” Melissa wrote down her phone number. “Call me tonight.”
Mario watched Melissa walk into a coffee shop while still admiring her body. He then caught the next bus to his job hoping he wouldn’t get in trouble again for being late.
Inside her office Melissa told a couple of co-workers about Mario and how she lied about having a husband. They found it funny that Mario didn’t care. Melissa said, “I can’t believe he thought I found him attractive.”
That evening Mario told his friend Chuck about Melissa while drinking some beers.
“That freak wants me to call her tonight but I’ma wait a few days,” Mario said.
“You gonna hit that dawg?” Chuck asked.
“I’ma hit that from the back.”
“What about her man?”
“That’s her problem. If she’s good I’ll take her from her man.”
Mario didn’t see Melissa for a few days. He decided that she had waited long enough. He dialed her number and heard the following, “The number you have dialed is not in service.” Mario realized that instead of him playing Melissa he was the one who got played.
The Nice Guy Scenario
This scenario picks up where the last one left off. Melissa is still having a good laugh at Mario’s expense. One of the people Melissa shares the story with is her co-worker, Rodney. Rodney is 6’1” with a slim build. He presents as being shy and repressed. He doesn’t stand out in a crowd. Rodney has been interested in Melissa since he joined the firm. Rodney decides to ask Melissa out.
“Hey Melissa. That story you told me still has me laughing,” Rodney said as he sat down in front of Melissa’s desk.
“Men are so weak sometimes,” Melissa responded, barely looking up from her work.
“Well…all of us aren’t like that. Many of us are perfect gentlemen who have been raised to treat ladies with the utmost respect.”
“I sure wish I’d meet one.”
“Sometimes they are right in front of you.”
“Yeah right.”
“No they are. Melissa, I, um, what are you doing this Friday?”
“Nothing. Why do you ask?” Melissa asked as she finally looked up at Rodney.
“Well, I, um, would like to take you out.”
“On a date?”
“Yes…a date.”
“I’m flattered you want to take me out and Lord knows I haven’t been out in a while but…”
“But what? You just said you haven’t been out in a while.”
“Rodney,” Melissa sighed. “You’re a nice guy but…”
“You don’t want to go out with me do you?”
“No I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“There are several reasons. The most important is that you are my buddy. I can talk to you about anything. I don’t want to mess that up.”
“Shouldn’t couples be friends anyway?”
“There’s more. Even if it wasn’t an issue of friendship there’s the issue of us working in the same office. My rule is to never date anybody I work with.”
“What if I got a job somewhere else?”
“That’s another thing. I hate to sound shallow but I’m looking for a professional man. I worked hard to get my degrees, my car, and my townhouse. I want a man with as much as I have and more.”
“I have a college degree and I’m a good worker.”
“I’m sorry I just need more. I hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. I enjoy being able to talk to you.”
“I’ll always be there for you. I hope you’ll change your mind one day.”
“Rodney, don’t wait for me. You’re a good man. There’s a very nice woman waiting for you somewhere out there.”
“Okay.”
Rodney left Melissa’s office wondering why she doesn’t give him a chance.
The Masked Man Scenario
Melissa is at a gathering of young professionals. The men at the function and their credentials impressed her. Melissa had been told since she was a child to get a professional man. She always had trouble meeting this type of man. Now she was in a room full of them. Melissa is sitting at a table listening to the jazz music when Brendan Whitfield approaches her. Brendan is 5’10” with a medium build and average face. His hair is freshly cut and he has a neatly groomed mustache. He is wearing an expensive designer suit and shoes.
“Is this seat taken?” Brendan asked.
“No it isn’t,” Melissa responded. She thought he had some potential even though he is not as handsome as she would have liked.
“May I join you?”
“Please. Have a seat.”
“My name is Brendan Whitfield,” Brendan said as he extended his hand.
“I’m Melissa Silver. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Melissa said as she shook Brendan’s hand.
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Been okay so far. Yourself?”
“I’ve talked to a few people but they weren’t very interesting.”
“No?”
“They were talking about trivial things. I’m here more for business.”
“So you sat next to me to discuss business?”
“For you I’m making an exception. I have to say that you are very attractive and you look like you’re going places. That’s a great combination. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do everyday?”
“I’m an account manager with a P.R. firm. Yourself.”
“I’m an in-house attorney for a company downtown.”
“Really,” Melissa said as her interest started to rise. “I’m downtown as well.”
Melissa and Brendan talked the rest of the evening and then exchanged business cards. They agreed to meet for lunch the next week.
Brendan and Melissa spent a lot of time together the next few weeks. They went to dinner at several fancy restaurants and saw a couple of plays. After a month of seeing each other they slept together for the first time. Melissa was disappointed. They slept together a few more times and the disappointment grew. Brendan during this time began to act more and more distant. Finally, he stopped calling. Melissa didn’t really mind. She discussed the situation with Rhonda, one of her co-workers.
“You haven’t spoke to him in a few days?” Rhonda asked.
“No. I hate to say it but I really don’t miss him,” Melissa said.
“You said he had a lot going for him.”
“Yeah…but…I don’t know. He wasn’t that cute but he had all the right degrees, a house, and a car. He said all the right things but there was just something missing.”
“Do you know what it was?”
“I don’t know…well…maybe there’s something.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”
“He seemed superficial about many things. I mean, he talked about his job a lot, his car, his house, but not a lot, if at all, about his personal feelings. It seemed all we did was go out to different restaurants and events but we never really spent time alone…except for sex.”
“How was that?”
“He wasn’t that good. It was a letdown to be honest. It’s like once you get past the money, the status, the possessions there was nothing there. There was no raw passion with him. It’s like without his props he’s nothing. Like he was wearing a mask.”
Mr. Goodbar Scenario
Melissa was sitting at her desk when she noticed a new man delivering mail to different offices. She was immediately attracted to him, which surprised her. She asked some co-workers about him. She found out his name was Stan Davis. He was a muscular six-footer with almond shaped eyes and a sexy walk. He had just started in the mailroom. She smiled at him every time he dropped mail at her office but he just nodded and kept delivering mail. One day after a few weeks Melissa stopped Stan to talk to him.
“How’s it going today?” Melissa asked.
“It’s a’ight. Just doing my J-O-B,” Stan responded.
“Do you like your job?”
“It keeps my bills paid. This ain’t the only thing I do though.”
“What else do you do?”
“I do some modeling and I DJ too.”
“Sounds exciting.”
“Just something to do. I’m saving up money to start a clothing store.”
“I didn’t know that about you.”
“Well you really don’t know me.” Stan said smiling.
“I guess not.”
“You can get to know me better if you fix me dinner this Saturday night.”
“Now how do you know I can even cook? Wait a minute. We’re talking for the first time and you’re talking about coming over to my house?”
“So you want me to bring anything?”
“You’re a trip. I haven’t agreed to have you over yet.”
“I see how you look at me so I figured I’d be coming over at some point anyway. Why delay the inevitable?”
“You’re so full of yourself,” Melissa said with a big grin on her face.
“Naw, I just like making beautiful women smile.”
“Thank you for making my day. So what time are you coming by?”
“I can be there by seven. Is that good for you?”
“That’s great.”
Stan and Melissa have dinner about eight that Saturday night and have sex about eleven that same night. Melissa is in a state of bliss afterwards. They never had a steady one on one relationship as Stan informed her that his focus is on his side businesses and also that there are other women in his life. Melissa is amazed that she is even involved with Stan. He goes against all off her rules. He was not a professional, he worked in her office, and he is not interested in a monogamous relationship. She doesn’t care because Stan is like rich chocolate who makes her feel good all over.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Meeting Beautiful Women Made Simple Part 5
Dance Hall
The best place to meet a woman hands down is a dance club. Not a bar but a dance club. Remember these words: women love to dance. The dance club is the one place where a normally defensive woman will be more receptive. It’s the one place where it’s okay for her to be sexual and wear that low cut black dress she keeps in the back of her closet. Despite how receptive woman are at clubs many men act like it takes rocket science to meet these women. It used to amaze me how men would stand around posing with drinks while women, using body language, were damn near begging the men to approach them.
One problem is that most men can’t dance and most seduction message boards focus more on interactions in bars than in dance clubs. Let me let you in on something: Rom is not a great dancer. Yet I’ve lost count of how many women I got phone numbers and other things from after dancing with them. Why? Despite having trouble finding the beat I had fun!!! I didn’t go out there to win a dance contest. I only wanted to dance with a nice woman. Most of the time I would click with woman. Sometimes it would be “thanks for the dance”, and I would be off to find a new partner. If you are not a great dancer, who cares? Have a good time.
I had a specific method for meeting a woman in a dance club. First I would get to the club and relax a bit. I would get a drink for myself and a feel for the energy of the place. After getting a feel for the place I would look for two things. One, a woman standing by the dance floor moving to the music, or two, a woman sitting in her seat moving to the music. If a woman was doing neither I would only approach using the Damn Principle. Once I decided on a dance partner I would approach her and say, “May I have this dance?” If she said “no” I would say, “thank you anyway” and relax a bit before looking for another dance partner. Never look for another partner immediately after a rejection. You don’t want to look like you will just dance with anyone to the other women checking you out.
In most cases the woman will say “yes”. Take her out on the dance floor and start dancing. Don’t try to talk to her out there because in most cases you’ll be screaming over the music. At this point it’s about body language. Pay attention to HOW she is dancing. If there is space between the two of you and she hardly looks at you, thank her for the dance after the song is over and relax a bit before looking for a new partner. If she is looking at you and getting close to you and continues dancing after the song goes off and another comes on, she is receptive to talking with you after leaving the dance floor. If the DJ puts on a slow song ask her for a slow dance. Women who slow dance with a stranger are interested in getting to know that stranger. A man can only blow it at this point.
By dancing with the woman first your bodies will make a determination as to compatibility. Remember, ninety-three percent of communication is subconscious. Many women respond to a man based on how he makes them feel physically. That’s why women go crazy over male exotic dancers. A professional bodybuilder once told me that the reason women visit and marry men in prison is because of their muscular bodies. Too many men try to engage a woman intellectually instead of physically. A man’s physical attributes excite women, despite the nonsense put out in the media. If you see an otherwise intelligent woman with a dumb-ass man rest assured he has a buffed body.
Once off the dance floor, a man still needs to have good conversation skills. Since you followed my advice and broadened your mind and interests you should be able to have an intelligent conversation with any lady.
One thing I did when I used to go to clubs was that I usually left with one phone number. Why? Quality over quantity. By being selective I sent a subliminal message to the different women that I wasn’t at the club to collect phone numbers. Women who checked me out realized that I wasn’t trying to be a player. Quite frankly men chasing a bunch of phone numbers around look like jokes to women. Women want to feel special. They want to feel like all your attention was on them, even if deep down they know better. At the dance club focus your energy on the women you feel are most attractive. Don’t collect a phone number if you are not feeling the woman. Forget trying to impress your buddies. Be very selective with women in the club and in general.
The best place to meet a woman hands down is a dance club. Not a bar but a dance club. Remember these words: women love to dance. The dance club is the one place where a normally defensive woman will be more receptive. It’s the one place where it’s okay for her to be sexual and wear that low cut black dress she keeps in the back of her closet. Despite how receptive woman are at clubs many men act like it takes rocket science to meet these women. It used to amaze me how men would stand around posing with drinks while women, using body language, were damn near begging the men to approach them.
One problem is that most men can’t dance and most seduction message boards focus more on interactions in bars than in dance clubs. Let me let you in on something: Rom is not a great dancer. Yet I’ve lost count of how many women I got phone numbers and other things from after dancing with them. Why? Despite having trouble finding the beat I had fun!!! I didn’t go out there to win a dance contest. I only wanted to dance with a nice woman. Most of the time I would click with woman. Sometimes it would be “thanks for the dance”, and I would be off to find a new partner. If you are not a great dancer, who cares? Have a good time.
I had a specific method for meeting a woman in a dance club. First I would get to the club and relax a bit. I would get a drink for myself and a feel for the energy of the place. After getting a feel for the place I would look for two things. One, a woman standing by the dance floor moving to the music, or two, a woman sitting in her seat moving to the music. If a woman was doing neither I would only approach using the Damn Principle. Once I decided on a dance partner I would approach her and say, “May I have this dance?” If she said “no” I would say, “thank you anyway” and relax a bit before looking for another dance partner. Never look for another partner immediately after a rejection. You don’t want to look like you will just dance with anyone to the other women checking you out.
In most cases the woman will say “yes”. Take her out on the dance floor and start dancing. Don’t try to talk to her out there because in most cases you’ll be screaming over the music. At this point it’s about body language. Pay attention to HOW she is dancing. If there is space between the two of you and she hardly looks at you, thank her for the dance after the song is over and relax a bit before looking for a new partner. If she is looking at you and getting close to you and continues dancing after the song goes off and another comes on, she is receptive to talking with you after leaving the dance floor. If the DJ puts on a slow song ask her for a slow dance. Women who slow dance with a stranger are interested in getting to know that stranger. A man can only blow it at this point.
By dancing with the woman first your bodies will make a determination as to compatibility. Remember, ninety-three percent of communication is subconscious. Many women respond to a man based on how he makes them feel physically. That’s why women go crazy over male exotic dancers. A professional bodybuilder once told me that the reason women visit and marry men in prison is because of their muscular bodies. Too many men try to engage a woman intellectually instead of physically. A man’s physical attributes excite women, despite the nonsense put out in the media. If you see an otherwise intelligent woman with a dumb-ass man rest assured he has a buffed body.
Once off the dance floor, a man still needs to have good conversation skills. Since you followed my advice and broadened your mind and interests you should be able to have an intelligent conversation with any lady.
One thing I did when I used to go to clubs was that I usually left with one phone number. Why? Quality over quantity. By being selective I sent a subliminal message to the different women that I wasn’t at the club to collect phone numbers. Women who checked me out realized that I wasn’t trying to be a player. Quite frankly men chasing a bunch of phone numbers around look like jokes to women. Women want to feel special. They want to feel like all your attention was on them, even if deep down they know better. At the dance club focus your energy on the women you feel are most attractive. Don’t collect a phone number if you are not feeling the woman. Forget trying to impress your buddies. Be very selective with women in the club and in general.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Meeting Beautiful Women Made Simple Part 4
The Friend Zone
Most men complain about the dreaded “friend zone.” You know those hated words, “let’s be friends.” Now how is this a method to meet women? Easily, just pay attention. First, if a woman puts you into the “friend zone”, don’t get mad or show a reaction. Just accept it and treat her like a friend. Start asking her advice on other women. She can give you advice and insight about women that you can’t get from another man. She can tell you what you need to do to become more attractive. She can tell you what buttons can be pushed on a particular woman. The most important thing you get from the woman is an introduction to her friends. Women tend to be more comfortable with a man introduced to them by someone they know. Also you may be more compatible with one of her friends.
The key with this is to suppress any feelings you have for the woman friend. Though difficult, forget how sexy she is, and recall the time you saw her without her hair fixed or the time she farted in your car. In your mind she will truly become your friend.
Now an interesting thing happens when a woman becomes your friend. The woman will basically give you advice on what SHE likes in a man. If you follow it, you will gradually become the man who is closest to her ideal. Also as you start to show interest in other women, the woman friend will eventually notice your lack of attention and will do what she can to get it back. The woman friend will especially fight to win back your attention if your new woman is very attractive. All of a sudden the woman will rethink the whole platonic thing.
Another way to work the Friend Zone is to put attractive women there yourself. Women, regardless of their physical appearance and social standing, expect a man to try to get sex from them. It throws a woman off-balance if you only want to be friends with her and you aren’t married or gay. It makes her work harder for your attention because if she can’t get you to desire her sexually it messes with her self-esteem. Ironically she might think you’re the ugliest loser on the planet but she’ll try to give you some booty to make herself feel good. Putting women in the Friend Zone lets them know that you have better things to do than to get in their panties. It lets her know that you have self-discipline, which is a key masculine trait. It lets her know that you have certain standards which she will have to meet.
An important aspect of putting women into the Friend Zone is that you can keep a lot of women around without having to date them and dealing with the drama that comes with that. If you aren’t around when a woman called five times in one night she can’t get mad because you and her are “just friends.”
Finally Friend Zone gives you a chance to get to know a woman. You might meet a woman and at first she seems like she has it going on. Then as you get to know her you find out she is a shady person. Too many men will have sex with any available woman. Then men get mad when they get a burning sensation while urinating, or she tells you her period is late, or worse you take a routine blood test and the doctor says he needs to see you in his office right away.
Use the Friend Zone to get to know women and to weed out undesirables.
Most men complain about the dreaded “friend zone.” You know those hated words, “let’s be friends.” Now how is this a method to meet women? Easily, just pay attention. First, if a woman puts you into the “friend zone”, don’t get mad or show a reaction. Just accept it and treat her like a friend. Start asking her advice on other women. She can give you advice and insight about women that you can’t get from another man. She can tell you what you need to do to become more attractive. She can tell you what buttons can be pushed on a particular woman. The most important thing you get from the woman is an introduction to her friends. Women tend to be more comfortable with a man introduced to them by someone they know. Also you may be more compatible with one of her friends.
The key with this is to suppress any feelings you have for the woman friend. Though difficult, forget how sexy she is, and recall the time you saw her without her hair fixed or the time she farted in your car. In your mind she will truly become your friend.
Now an interesting thing happens when a woman becomes your friend. The woman will basically give you advice on what SHE likes in a man. If you follow it, you will gradually become the man who is closest to her ideal. Also as you start to show interest in other women, the woman friend will eventually notice your lack of attention and will do what she can to get it back. The woman friend will especially fight to win back your attention if your new woman is very attractive. All of a sudden the woman will rethink the whole platonic thing.
Another way to work the Friend Zone is to put attractive women there yourself. Women, regardless of their physical appearance and social standing, expect a man to try to get sex from them. It throws a woman off-balance if you only want to be friends with her and you aren’t married or gay. It makes her work harder for your attention because if she can’t get you to desire her sexually it messes with her self-esteem. Ironically she might think you’re the ugliest loser on the planet but she’ll try to give you some booty to make herself feel good. Putting women in the Friend Zone lets them know that you have better things to do than to get in their panties. It lets her know that you have self-discipline, which is a key masculine trait. It lets her know that you have certain standards which she will have to meet.
An important aspect of putting women into the Friend Zone is that you can keep a lot of women around without having to date them and dealing with the drama that comes with that. If you aren’t around when a woman called five times in one night she can’t get mad because you and her are “just friends.”
Finally Friend Zone gives you a chance to get to know a woman. You might meet a woman and at first she seems like she has it going on. Then as you get to know her you find out she is a shady person. Too many men will have sex with any available woman. Then men get mad when they get a burning sensation while urinating, or she tells you her period is late, or worse you take a routine blood test and the doctor says he needs to see you in his office right away.
Use the Friend Zone to get to know women and to weed out undesirables.
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